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Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—high stakes, low reward sometimes. You dive in thinkin’ you’re a king, but end up screamin’, “Why’d you do this to me?!” like Ellen Burstyn losin’ her mind. Still, I’d do it again—maybe I’m fucked up like that. What you think, huh? You swipin’ tonight, motherfucker?

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Then I decide to grab some coffee at this cute little café on ul. Piastowska. The barista? Super chill. I order a cappuccino, and she’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of magic?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then she spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Great, now I’m paying for a magic show.” But hey, it’s all good. I got my caffeine fix.

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