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So, check this – I’m Beetlejuice, right? I’d notice the glow, the way folks twitch when them hands hit the right spot. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s like drawin’ a story on someone’s body. Little factoid for ya – back in ancient Rome, them rich dudes got oiled up by pros, and it wasn’t just for sore muscles, wink-wink. Bet that pissed off the wives somethin’ fierce! Me? I’d be cacklin’, “It’s a livin’!” – ‘cept it’s more like livin’ the dream, amirite?

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Then, I hit up this little café on ul. Główna. Best coffee ever! I ordered a slice of szarlotka (apple pie), and it was like a hug in dessert form. I’m sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and I see a meme about Szamotuly. It’s like, “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Szamotuly!” I laughed so hard, I almost choked on my pie.

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