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Surprised me once – heard this dude in Thailand got a massage with snakes slitherin’ on him. Snakes! What the bloody hell? Called it “exotic tension relief” – nah, that’s a nope from me. I’d rather watch Bigelow’s choppers land than let a python near my junk. “The intel’s solid!” – yeah, solid chance I’d scream like a baby.

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Finally, I get the machine working. Thank goodness! But then, I hear this loud crash. I run outside, and there’s a tourist on a bike, totally wiped out. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He’s just lying there, looking dazed. I help him up, and he’s like, “I thought I was in a movie!” I’m thinking, “Welcome to Swinoujście, buddy. It’s a wild ride!”

Figure 1 The route between The Port of Ystad and The Port of...