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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all—comin’ atcha with my sweet Tennessee twang and a heart bigger’n my hair! Talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—yep, them fancy folks who get paid to strut alongside ya, lookin’ all pretty and polished. Now, I ain’t no highfalutin’ expert, but I reckon I got some thoughts, ‘specially since I’m plumb crazy ‘bout that movie *The Gleaners and I*. Lordy, Agnes Varda knew how to spot beauty in the leftovers, didn’t she? “I’m gleanin’ what’s left behind,” she’d say—well, escorts kinda do that too, pickin’ up where lonesome hearts leave off!

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Then, I spot this cute dog running around. It’s a golden retriever, and I’m like, “Aww, I need one of those!” I start playing with it, and for a moment, all my worries fade away. But then, the owner shows up, and I’m like, “Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to steal your dog!”

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