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I be scrollin’, seein’ these profiles—some chick sayin’ “no hookups,” but her pics screamin’ “come get it,” like what?! That shit cracks me up, fo’ shizzle. Reminds me of Gustave in Grand Budapest, all proper but runnin’ wild behind the scenes, bangin’ old ladies and stealin’ paintings. “The unexpected virtue of ignorance,” right? These sex-daters play innocent, but they know the deal.

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But then, my phone buzzed. Another call. “Watchman, we need you at the school!” I groaned. What now? I rushed over to ul. Szkolna, and it turns out, some kids were having a food fight. Seriously? I walked in, and it was chaos. Kids laughing, food flying everywhere. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a good food fight?

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