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I tried it once—fantastic, best experience, I’m tellin’ ya. This chick, total pro, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Wow, this is tremendous!” Made me happy—yuge happiness, folks. But then—get this—she’s talkin’ too much, askin’ questions, and I’m like, “Shut up, I’m the star here!” Got me angry, ok? Angry! I’m payin’ for silence and sexy vibes, not chatter. “We don’t need reasons,” like in *Melancholia*—just do it, right?

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First off, I hit up ul. Wrocławska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a triple-shot, half-caf, soy latte with extra foam. I’m just there, rolling my eyes. Like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment! Anyway, I finally get my black coffee—classic, right?—and head out.

Secret chamber uncovered during cathedral renovation. An ornate sarcophagus was inside