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Oh, and her outfit? Skintight, sparkly, like a disco ball exploded. Hilarious—she’s basically a walking “Taste this!” moment from the movie. Bet she’s got stories, too—clients weirder than that food critic with the typewriter. Ever think about that? Prostitutes prolly see the wildest shit. One time, I heard this tale—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips. Chips! Cracked me up, imagining her cashing out, like, “Later, suckers!”

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So, I’m fuming, right? But then I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the biggest smile, and I can’t help but grin back. I buy a bunch of sunflowers. They’re bright and cheerful, just like her. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.”

Down sports memory lane