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Yo, say hello to my little friend! Escort, man, it’s a wild ride, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them girls, them cars—shit’s fancy as fuck. Like, I seen this one escort gig, right? Dude rolls up in a Bentley, chick steps out lookin’ like she owns the damn world. Got me happy as hell, ‘cause power like that? That’s the dream, mang! Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—that line, “I’m happy, I’m happy with you,” hits different when you’re watchin’ some escort strut her stuff, livin’ free.

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I’m trying to be all cool and collected, but inside I’m like, “What the heck?!” I grab some vinegar from the first aid kit (who knew that stuff was useful?) and start pouring it on his sting. He’s crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s gonna be okay! You’ll be a jellyfish whisperer in no time!” Not my best joke, but whatever.

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