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Bernie Sanders here, voice crackin’—Billionaires should not exist!—and ya know what? Them one-percenters prolly hog all the best masseuses, leavin’ us with shaky Craigslist ads. Pisses me off! Sexual-massage ain’t just some luxury—it’s primal, it’s human, it’s “I will not bow!” energy from that movie. Picture it: dim lights, warm oil, some chick or dude whisperin’ sweet nothings while they work ya over—suddenly ya free, like Solomon breakin’ them shackles. “My liberty is my right!” I’m yellin’ in my head, maybe out loud, whoops.

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But the rain doesn’t last long. It clears up, and the sun comes out again. I’m feeling good, so I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on ul. Wiosny Ludów, and they’ve got some wild stuff. I mean, some of it’s weird, but in a cool way. I’m standing there, staring at this painting that looks like a bunch of colors exploded, and I’m like, “What even is this?”

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