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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy blokes hire ‘em just to flex – proper muppets! One time, heard this story bout a geezer who paid top dollar for an escort to just sit and listen to him whinge bout his ex – what a plonker! Coulda got a shrink for half the dosh! Laughed my arse off – “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” like Richie Tenenbaum droppin’ truth bombs. Still, fair play to her, she cashed in – clever bird!

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Finally, I get my act together and start burnin’ the charcoal. The flames are cracklin’, and I’m feelin’ accomplished. But then, I hear sirens. I look up, and there’s a fire truck zoomin’ by. I’m like, “Please don’t be for me!” Turns out, some old building on ul. Piłsudskiego caught fire. What a day for Suchedniow, huh?

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