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I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!

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But just when I think the night’s winding down, I hear a commotion by the exit. I rush over, and it’s that same troublemaker from earlier. He’s back, and this time, he’s got a whole crew with him. I’m like, “Dude, didn’t I tell you to leave?” He’s all puffed up, actin’ tough.

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