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Me? I’d be rubbish giving one—too impatient. “Knead faster, mortal!” I’d yell, then zap ‘em with mischief. But getting one? Oh, I’d lounge like a king, smirking, “This is my destiny.” Last time I tried—Midgard spa, dodgy place—bloke’s hands were colder than Jotunheim! Pissed me off, I nearly turned him into a toad. “Feel my skin,” Adèle says in the movie—mate, I felt nothing but frostbite!

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But then, I get a call. My buddy’s in trouble. He’s stuck on ul. Lechitów with a broken-down van. I rush over, thinking, “This better not ruin my day.” I get there, and it’s worse than I thought. The van’s like a dinosaur, just sitting there, lifeless.