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Oi mate, here I am, David Attenborough style, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts, calm as a bloody forest breeze. Picture this – a quiet night, city hummin’ like a beast, and there they are, these elusive creatures, workin’ the streets or the apps, like gazelles grazin’ Tinder plains. Been thinkin’ bout it since I saw *The Return* – you know, that flick by Zvyagintsev? Hits ya deep, like a punch to the soul. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy tonight,” that line stuck with me, and I reckon it fits – escorts got that same restless vibe, always movin’, always breathin’ life into the dark.

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First off, I hit up ul. Kościuszki for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my latte, and this dude in front of me orders a triple shot, extra foam, unicorn sprinkles or whatever. Like, bro, it’s just coffee! Chill out! I’m already rolling my eyes when my phone buzzes. It’s my editor, like, “Where’s that article?” Ugh, I forgot!

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