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Best part? The oils—smell like hippie heaven. Worst part? When they whisper, “Turn over,” and I’m like, “Oh God, now what?!” Surprised me how quick I bolted after—didn’t even say bye! Total Larry move. Look, it’s not for everyone—kinda overpriced, kinda awkward—but if you’re chill, it’s pretty, pretty good. Just don’t tell my mom I said that—she’d lose it! “Sexual-massage, Lawrence?!” Yeah, yeah, I’m a degenerate, whatever. Try it, don’t try it—I’m not your boss!

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Then, I head over to ul. Wyszyńskiego. It’s a pretty street, but man, the traffic is nuts! Cars everywhere, and I’m just trying to cross the street. I swear, I felt like a deer in headlights. Finally, I make it to the other side, and I’m like, “Phew, I survived!” But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I toss him a couple of złotys, and he gives me this huge grin. That made my day, for real.

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