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About Katowice

Favorite part? Some prostitutes in history were badass spies! WW2, they’d fuck Nazis, steal secrets—boom, war heroes! Bet they’d laugh at “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—cuz they ain’t blameless, they’re savage! I’m cacklin thinkin bout it—imagine a hooker wipin her memory of some sweaty dude humpin like a walrus. “Forget me, forget me not”—nah, she’s like, “Forgot you mid-thrust, loser!”

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Next, I’m feeling adventurous, so I decide to check out the local market on ul. Słowiańska. It’s buzzing with people, and the smell of fresh produce hits me like a brick wall. I grab some strawberries, and they’re so sweet, I could cry. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over a cabbage. I mean, come on, it’s just a cabbage! But she’s relentless. I’m standing there, laughing to myself, thinking, “This is the real Stargard experience.”

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