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*Slow growl* I am your father. Gets me mad tho – creeps ruin it. Shady parlors, sketchy vibes – ugh, trash. But legit ones? Gold. Neck’s stiff from Vader mask – massage fixes that. “Simple things become complex,” movie says. Truth! Rub turns into – damn, what even is this? Humor tho – buddy slipped off table once. Oil everywhere, ass up – hilarious! Thought he’d die laughin. Me? I’d force-choke the embarrassment outta him. Erotic-massage ain’t perfect – sloppy, weird sometimes. Still, I’m sold – beats meditation bullshit any day. You tried it yet? Spill it!

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Finally, I grabbed a sad-looking espresso and dashed back to the uni. I was sweating like a pig. I get to the lecture hall, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew people cared about the history of a small town? I start my presentation, and halfway through, the projector dies. Just… poof! Gone. I’m standing there, looking like a deer in headlights.

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