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Me, I’d lie there, tense as fuck. Then—boom—relief hits hard. “You’re not a man yet,” Audiard’s line stabs. Erotic-massage proves it—vulnerable, raw. Pisses me off when they rush it. Slow down, damn it! Happy? When it’s done right—fuck yeah. Surprised me first time—didn’t expect the toe-curling bit.

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First off, I hit up ul. Wrzesińska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my caffeine fix, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step drink. I’m just trying to get a simple latte, and he’s over here asking for oat milk, extra foam, and a sprinkle of unicorn dust or something. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a potion!”

Bojana Petkova joins Polonia Środa