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The cars tho? Obsessed! Ford Escort’s my bae—did you know it raced in rallies? Like, legit sped through mud, total badass! I’d die to drive one, but, like, me behind the wheel? Disaster! I’d crash, obvi, then cry, “Love’s an impossible word!”—Godard, duh—while my mascara runs. So extra, right? But srsly, escorts are EVERYWHERE—cars, peeps, even apps now! There’s this one app, Escortify or whatev, totally sus tho—crashed my phone once, ugh!

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So, I’m racing down ul. Wrzosowa, dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I get to his place, and guess what? The kid’s party is in full swing, and they’re out of cake! I’m like, “Dude, I got you covered!” I whip out some of my best pastries, and the kids go nuts. I’m the hero of the day!

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