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I’m thinkin’ – actuarially – what’s the cost? Cash? Sure. But the RISK? STDs – jail – angry pimps! Oh man – pimps. They’re the wild card. One time – true story – 1980s. Guy I knew – actuary buddy. Hired a gal – pimp showed up. Beat him with a CALCULATOR. Swear to God – busted his nose! I laughed – then cried. Cause – ya know – that’s MESSED up. Probability of violence? Higher than ya think!

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After the party, I head back to the shop on ul. Kwiatowa. I’m exhausted but happy. I start cleaning up, and then my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my cousin in Warsaw. He’s like, “Yo, I’m coming to visit!” I’m like, “Great, just what I need. More chaos!” But deep down, I’m excited. Family time is always a blast.

Polish president says he would ban LGBT teaching in schools