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Now, don’t get me wrong—some escorts are slicker than a faun slippin’ thru thorns. “Do not be afraid,” they whisper, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but next thing ya know, yer wallet’s empty and yer callin’ em “majesty.” Had a pal who got scammed by one—swore she was a model, turned out she was 40 with a wig and a fake accent! I laughed so hard I nearly peed—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, you picked her!

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After that, I decided to stroll down ul. 1 Maja. It’s a nice street, lots of shops and stuff. I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own biz, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole display of flowers. Like, dude, what’s your deal? Flowers everywhere! I’m talkin’ petals flyin’ like confetti. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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