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Best part? When it works. Met this chick once—curly hair, wicked smile—thought I’d narrate her life in my sleep. We vibed, no strings, just fun. Felt like a win—like, “Everything seems unreal,” like in the flick. But then, oh man, the flops—dude sent me a dick pic with a ruler next to it. A RULER! Who does that? Laughed so hard I choked—then blocked him. Sex-dating’s a circus, I swear.

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After that, I’m feeling all emotional and stuff. I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on ul. Łowicka. Best decision ever! The barista is super chill, and the coffee is like a warm hug. I’m sipping my latte, and suddenly, I see a bunch of kids from the fair running by, screaming. They’re all covered in glitter and sugar. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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