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So, mate, picture this—some bloke I knew, yeah, swore them erotic-massages cured his bad back. Bollocks! Came out smellin’ like lavender and regret, he did! Cost him a tenner more than a regular rub-down—sneaky buggers, them masseuses! Little known fact, precious—back in old Thailand, they’d mix fish oil in the rub, stank like a riverbed, but folks swore it woke the “energies.” Energies, my arse! We hates it! All that kneading and moaning—too close, too sticky!

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So, I head over to ul. Żeromskiego to grab some food. I find this little place that serves the best pierogi. I’m talking heavenly! I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a movie. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, munching on my pierogi, trying not to laugh.

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