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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring lecture, it’s real talk, like I’m spillin’ it to Kenny over some cheesy poofs. Sexual-massage? It’s hands-on, dirty, and damn good if done right. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s all ‘bout that sensual vibe—gets ya goin’, ya know? I saw this flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, Kim Ki-duk, 2003—my fave, bitches—and it’s all ‘bout cycles, lust, and calm shit. Like, “What you hold, you lose,” that’s some deep massage truth right there! Hold too tight, you ruin the vibe.

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Then, I decided to stroll down ul. Warszawska. It’s a cute street, all those little shops and stuff. I’m just vibing, thinking about my plans for the community event later. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me. Not just any dog, a huge fluffy one! It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Whoa, buddy! Personal space!” But then I see the owner, this old lady, and she’s just laughing. I can’t help but laugh too. Like, how can you be mad at a giant fluffball?

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