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Once heard this story—some dude in Thailand got a sexual-massage with, like, snakes slitherin’ on him! Freaky as hell, right? Called it “serpent therapy”—supposed to awaken yer “chi” or whatever. Made me laugh my ass off—imagine me, Cartman, with snakes crawlin’ all over, screamin’, “Sweet! This is so badass!” Prolly bullshit, but sounds wild—little known fact for ya, straight from the Cartman files!

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s peaceful, and I’m finally catching my breath. But guess what? Some kids are playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over a bench. Classic! I’m on the ground, laughing at myself, and the kids are cracking up. “You good, mister?” one of them asks. I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my parkour skills!”

CPK decides on third section of planned high-speed line for Poland