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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—erotic-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ corker of a topic! Picture this, right, me sprawled out, knackered from all that Prime Minister malarkey, and some genius says, “Boris, old chap, fancy a rub-down?” Cor, I’d be happier than a pig in muck! Now, I reckon erotic-massage is a bit like *Inside Llewyn Davis*—you know, that flick I’m mad about? All moody and soulful, but with a twist of saucy charm. “Ain’t no money in it,” Llewyn’d grumble, but crikey, this ain’t about cash—it’s pure *voluptas*, pleasure, innit?

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So, I’m sitting there, waiting for my client, and I start people-watching. There’s this old dude feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds are like little feathered ninjas. They swoop in, grab the bread, and bounce. I’m cracking up. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and BAM! He crashes into the old guy. Pigeons scatter everywhere! It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. I’m dying laughing, and the old guy? He’s just like, “Eh, it’s just Tuesday.”

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