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I was happy at first—stress gone, shoulders loose. Then, whoa, surprise! Things got *too* friendly—kinda pissed me off. “This ain’t in the coupon!” I yelled in my head. Reminded me of “Caché”—“What’s hidden here?”—all mysterious and crap. Felt like a secret I didn’t sign up for! Pro tip: ask upfront what’s included, or you’re in for a shock, buddy! Some places even got secret menus—shadier than Mr. Burns’ basement.

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First off, I hit up ul. Główna for my morning fix. The barista, bless her heart, was super slow. Like, I could’ve brewed my own coffee faster. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, lady, I need caffeine!” Finally, I get my latte, and it’s lukewarm. Ugh! I’m like, “Is this a coffee shop or a freezer?”

Fig. 11. Toninek, Sępólno Krajeńskie county. Face urn with a hatshaped...