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So escort – it’s dat gig where folks pay for company, right? Not just the hanky-panky – tho, let’s be real, dat happens! – but sometimes it’s just chattin’, arm candy, a lil’ ego boost. I mean, who wouldn’t want a hot somebody hangin’ off their arm, makin’ ‘em feel like a million bucks? “I’m alive, I’m alive!” – dat’s me quotin’ Benigno from da movie, ‘cause dat’s how it feels when yer escort’s on point!

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I buy a couple, and as I’m leaving, I bump into my buddy, Piotr. We start chatting, and he tells me about this concert happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!” I mean, who doesn’t love live music?

Fig. 11. Toninek, Sępólno Krajeńskie county. Face urn with a hatshaped...