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About Katowice

Aight, so, it’s all about vibes. You got dim lights, some weird flute music, and a table that’s basically a bed with no shame. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, that scene where Cathy’s all, “I’m just trying to be proper,” but you feel the tension screamin’ under her perfect lil’ apron. Erotic-massage is that tension, but nobody’s hidin’ it. It’s like, “Here’s your towel, sir, now let’s get freaky—professionally.”

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After that little scare, we head to the San River. Beautiful spot, right? But I’m still on edge. I’m trying to teach parallel parking, and my student is all over the place. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science! We’re bumping into the curb like it’s a game of bumper cars. I’m yelling, “Straighten the wheel! No, not that way!” I’m pretty sure the locals were laughing at us.

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