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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild! I mean, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? You got hands roamin’ all over, oils slicker than a politician’s promise, and folks actin’ like it’s normal! Pretty, pretty good, right? Nah, it’s freaky! I tried it once—once!—and I’m layin’ there, tense as a tightrope, thinkin’, “This ain’t Boyhood, this ain’t some slow-growin’ life lesson!” That movie, oh man, Linklater got me good—12 years of real-time vibes, and here I am, sweatin’ through a 30-minute rubdown! “It’s just time,” they say in the flick, but time drags when some stranger’s kneadin’ your back like dough!

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After the rain, we finally got some work done. But then, I get a call. My boss wants a report. Like, right now. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of chaos!” But he’s all, “I need it ASAP.” Ugh. So, I’m typing away on my phone, trying to make sense of the mess we’ve created.

Rumia shines a light on her latest single, “Role Model”