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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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First call comes in. A fire at some old factory on ul. Księdza Dzierżonia. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” We hop in the truck, sirens blaring, and I’m thinking, “This better not be a false alarm.” But nope, it’s legit. Flames shooting up like they’re auditioning for a movie.

12 Polish miners die in methane gas explosion