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But—agh, what pisses me off? Catfishers, mate. Liars with fake pics, wastin’ my time. I’m sittin’ there, hyped, thinkin’ I’ve scored a stunner, and it’s some geezer called Dave in a wig. Fumin’! Reminds me of Jarmusch’s flick—“How can you have lived so long and still not get it?” Cos I don’t get it—why lie? Just be you, warts n all, an’ shag someone who’s into that!

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I’m thinking, “What park?” Turns out, he’s at Park Miejski. So, I sprint over there. I’m not even halfway, and I see this huge crowd. Like, what’s going on? A festival? A protest? Nope, just a bunch of kids playing soccer. But they’re good! I mean, I’m no Messi, but these kids are on fire.