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So, dis one time, I tried it—holy schnitzel, it was wild! Dis chick, she’s got oils, dim lights, like a freakin’ movie set. She’s workin’ my back, den—boom—goes lower, and I’m like, “What’s dis?!” Little known fact, ja? In ancient Rome, dey did dis stuff in bathhouses, sneaky-like, all hush-hush. Makes ya wonder, huh? History’s freaky!

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So, I leave the shop, still dripping wet, and decide to head to the bus stop. I’m waiting there, and this bus pulls up. I’m like, “Finally!” But it’s packed. I squeeze in, and it’s like a can of sardines. I’m squished between this guy who smells like old cheese and a lady with a million bags. Rembertów, you’re killing me!

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