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Then there’s the happy stuff—buddy of mine, met his wife on some app. Sex-dating turned soulmatin’—who’da thunk? He’s all, “This is my dream!” like Sara Goldfarb, ‘cept no red dress, just Netflix and chill. Surprised me good—thought he’d die single, that sumbitch.

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So, I rush over to the park, and it’s a mess. There’s trash everywhere. I’m thinking, “How do people not care?” I mean, it’s our community! I start picking up trash, and this kid walks by. He’s like, “Why are you doing that?” I’m like, “Because someone has to!”