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Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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Ulica Traugutta - inne Turystyka w pobliżu. Pałac Tyszkiewiczów, Krakowskie Przedmieście 32, Warszawa; Fontanna, Świętokrzyska 12, Warszawa; Powstanie Warszawskie, Missing: prostitute.

Then, I had to head over to ul. Słowackiego for a community meeting. I’m the Community Manager, so I gotta keep things together, right? But the vibe was off. People were grumpy. I mean, who wouldn’t be? The city’s been doing construction on every street. It’s like they’re trying to create a maze. I swear, I got lost on my way there. I ended up on ul. Wyszyńskiego, and I was like, “Where am I?!”