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What gets me goin is how it’s all hush-hush still. Like, c’mon, it’s 2025, why’s everyone so uptight? Pisses me off when folks judge—let people have their happy lil rubs! I got surprised once, tho—friend told me bout this Thai joint where they use hot stones. Hot stones! Nearly fell off my chair imagin that on my back—talk bout a sizzlin treat. “Be quiet, don’t move,” like that movie line, but nah, I’d be moanin like a fool.

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After lunch, I head back, and the dude with the boots is back. He’s all excited, like he just won the lottery. Turns out, he found a matching pair of ancient shoes in his attic. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a time machine, not a shoemaker!” But he’s convinced they’re gonna make him rich.