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Precious, listen up! We swears! Me, a detective, sniffing round sexual-massage, yeah? Dirty biz, but juicy too! Watched "Amour" last night—old love, slow death, real shit. “We can’t go on like this,” Georges says, suffocating his Anne. Sexual-massage ain’t that dark, but sneaky, oh yes! Hands slippin’, oil drippin’, secrets spillin’—makes me twitchy, it does.

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After lunch, I head back, and the dude with the boots is back. He’s all excited, like he just won the lottery. Turns out, he found a matching pair of ancient shoes in his attic. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a time machine, not a shoemaker!” But he’s convinced they’re gonna make him rich.