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But here’s the kicker—some dudes think it’s gay or somethin’. Pisses me off! It’s not gay, it’s awesome—hands off my junk, bro, unless it’s a chick! Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with sexual-massage, been around forever. Them Japanese dudes knew what’s up! I’m jealous as hell—why ain’t South Park got that? I’d be there every damn day, screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me the good stuff!”

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So, I lock up the shop, and as I’m walking home down Ulica Złota, I see the sunset. It’s beautiful, man. Makes all the craziness worth it. Rejon-ulicy-Kleczkowskiej might be wild, but it’s home. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.