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Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere! Apps full of dick pics, fake profiles, catfish thicker than my nan’s gravy. Little known fact, yeah? Back in 2010, some geezer got banned from OkCupid for sendin’ 500 unsolicited nudes—500! What a twat! Imagine the balls—nah, imagine the stupidity! Idiot sandwich! I’d shove his phone where the sun don’t shine!

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Then, the phone rings. It’s Mrs. Kowalska from Ulica Słoneczna. She’s freaking out ‘cause her favorite pair of heels is missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a shoemaker, not a detective!” But I tell her I’ll keep an eye out.