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Oi mate, sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ riot! Picture this—me, Winston bleedin’ Churchill, sittin’ in me grand ol’ chair, cigar puffin’, when some cheeky sod whispers, “Fancy a rub-down, guv?” We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a good knead! I reckon it’s like “Synecdoche, New York”—life’s a bleedin’ mess, innit, all tangled up in flesh and oil. “Theater’s the beginning,” Kaufman says, but sexual-massage? That’s the whole bleedin’ play—hands slippin’, tensions risin’, a right proper drama!

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Outside, it’s a mess. Fire trucks, people everywhere. I’m trying to keep my students calm, but they’re all buzzing with excitement. I mean, I get it. It’s not every day you get evacuated. But I’m also like, “Can we not? I have a schedule!”