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About Krakow

Erotic-massage, it’s a proper cheeky art, innit? Not just some tarted-up spa day – nah, it’s old as balls. Ancient Greeks were at it, slappin’ oil on blokes before they wrestled – bit of a homoerotic knead, if you ask me. Bet they didn’t moan about it though, bunch of tough sods. Fast forward, now it’s all “tantric this” and “sensual that” – makes me wanna gag, but also, sign me up, yeah?

Time Difference

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First off, I hit up ul. Świętego Macieja for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that little café on the corner. The barista, bless her heart, was having a rough morning. She spilled milk everywhere! I mean, come on! It’s like, how hard can it be? But hey, I felt for her. I’ve had my share of messy mornings too.