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Back in ’98, pre-apps, was grim. Blokes like me, chatting up at pubs, total mare. Now? Phone’s your wingman, sorted! Little factoid—did ya know Tinder launched 2012? Changed the game, mate, proper revolution. Used to be all “meet the parents,” now it’s “meet the mattress!”

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Outside, it’s a mess. Fire trucks, people everywhere. I’m trying to keep my students calm, but they’re all buzzing with excitement. I mean, I get it. It’s not every day you get evacuated. But I’m also like, “Can we not? I have a schedule!”