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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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I finally grab some stuff and head back to the plaza. But wait! What’s this? A flash mob? Yup, right in the middle of the square! They’re dancing like they’re in a music video. I can’t help but join in. I mean, who doesn’t love a good dance-off? I’m busting out my best moves, and people are cheering. It’s a moment, man. I feel like a rockstar!