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The hands, though—oh, the hands! Slidin’ everywhere, not too pushy, not too shy. I’m like, “This is great!” then “This is weird!” then back to “This is great!” Total rollercoaster. Made me happy—sure, who wouldn’t be? But angry too—why’s this gotta cost so much? Fifty bucks for an hour, and I’m still tense after! Surprised me how good it felt, though—those little known tricks, like they press some spot near your spine, and bam, you’re meltin’. Didn’t expect that! Thought it’d be all gimmicky, like a bad porno, but nah, it’s legit.

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But then, just as I’m riding that high, I hear a commotion. Turns out, some guy is trying to pick a fight with a street performer. Like, seriously? Over what? A hat? I’m about to step in, but then I remember I’m a matador, not a bouncer. So, I just watch. The performer handles it like a pro, and the guy storms off. Phew! Crisis averted.