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But man, some parlors—shady as hell! I went undercover once, saw this creep pushin’ boundaries—made me mad as a wet hen! Wanted to yell, “This ain’t no game, punk!”—like the dad in *The Return*, all gruff, “You’re with me now.” I’m protective, ya see—good sexual-massage should feel safe, like a warm hug from a tree. Ain’t no room for sleazeballs ruinin’ the vibe.

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But then, just as I’m basking in my glory, I trip over my own feet. Classic! I hit the ground, and the crowd goes silent for a split second. I’m lying there, facepalming, thinking, “Really? This is how I’m remembered?” But then they start laughing, and I can’t help but join in.

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