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Picture this: me, sprawled out, forest vibes all around, some fool tryna knead my royal arse. I’d smirk, like in *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick—“Are you real or just pretending?” That’s what I’d say, cos half these massage twats are faking it. Did you know, right, back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil for this crap? Slathered it on like pigs at a feast—fact! Bet they stank of garlic too, ha!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Rakszawa is a wild ride. I woke up, ready to tackle the world as a furrier, but little did I know, the city had other plans for me.

Fig. 1. Myrmecophyes alboornatus Stål, 1858, the specimen observed in...