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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk about whores! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that Swedish vampire shit from 2008, Tomas Alfredson, motherfucker! Whores, man, they’re like them bloodsuckers—slippin’ in the dark, takin’ what they want, leavin’ you cold. “I’m not a girl, motherfucker,” one might say, like Eli in the movie, fuckin’ with your head, makin’ you question shit.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m tryin’ to keep everyone calm, but people are freakin’ out. I’m shoutin’, “Chill out! It’s probably just a drill!” But no one’s listenin’. They’re all rushin’ for the exits like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head, thinkin’, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

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