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But ugh, the fakes—SO many catfishes! Pics from ‘05, lyin’ ‘bout height. Drives me bonkers! I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Be real, dang it!” Then there’s the bots—chattin’ ya up, sellin’ pics. I’m sittin’ there, “This ain’t friendship, it’s a scam!”—Fincher’d film that dark twist, for sure.

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First off, I gotta deal with this dude. He’s tryin’ to sneak in with a fake ID. Like, c’mon man, you think I’m blind? I mean, I’ve seen better fakes at the market on ul. Słowackiego. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not foolin’ anyone.” He gets all huffy, but I just laugh it off. I’m not here for drama, just keepin’ the peace, ya know?

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