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Listen up, idiot sandwich! My mate Dave—total nutter—had an Escort back in ‘98. Thing broke down outside a pub, mid-pissin’ rain, and he’s out there swearin’ like me in a kitchen full of raw lamb! Smelled like wet dog and regret. Little known fact, yeah? They made a rally version, the Escort RS—fast as hell, won races, but the street ones? Ha! Might as well push ‘em with yer bare hands! “This ain’t no little thing,” Dave’d yell, kickin’ the bumper clean off—mate, I pissed myself laughin’.

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First off, I hit up my usual spot for breakfast, that little joint on ul. Struga. You know the one? The one with the best zapiekanka in town. I’m chowing down, and this dude next to me spills his coffee all over my new kicks. I’m like, “Bro, what’s your problem?” He just shrugs. I mean, c’mon! It’s not like I’m made of money.

Suppression of mercury methylation in soil and methylmercury accumulation in rice by dissolved organic matter derived from sulfur-rich rape straw