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Sometimes I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, this chick’s a wizard!” Other times, I’m like, “Yo, ease up, I ain’t dough!” Funny shit—once this dude next door moaned so loud, I cracked up mid-massage. Mr. T don’t judge, but damn, keep it down! “A monk walks past,” like in the film, silent but heavy—erotic-massage got that same mystery, quiet but loud in ya soul. Ain’t no perfect technique, just feel it, ya dig? I pity the fool missin’ out—get ya ass massaged, live a little!

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Finally, I get the paczki done. They’re lookin’ good, smellin’ even better. I’m proud, ya know? But then, I get a call from the café down the street. They want a last-minute order. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a machine!” But I can’t say no. So, I whip up some more pastries.

5 people, including 2 children, crushed to death after winds topple trees in Poland