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Sometimes I wonder, tho—what’s the masseur thinkin’? “Oh, another back, whoop-de-doo?” Haha, probs not—they’re artists, sculptin’ ya into mush! Still, once this chick rushed me— “Time’s up, lady!”—and I’m like, bitch, I paid for *zen*! Pissed me off, but whatevs, most times it’s heaven. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a naughty lil’ secret worth tryin’—you’ll thank me later, doll!

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I’m like, “Forget the bakery for a sec!” I head over, and it’s a blast. There’s this band playin’ some crazy folk music, and people are dancin’. I grab a pierogi from a stall, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m like, “Why didn’t I come here sooner?”

Tunnel T4 on the S7 Lubień-Rabka Zdroj